Even If It Take A Million Days
by PinkGray
Summary: Kakashi returns to Konoha battered and little more than a shell of his former self. Even though he's retreated into the furthest depths of his mind, Sakura is determined to wrench him free of the mental prison he's trapped himself in. She'll take it one step at a time, one day at a time, even if it takes her a million days. Written as a series of connected ficlets. AU. KakaSaku.
1. Day One

**Title:** day one  
**Word Count: **604  
**Prompts:** 11. broken spirit & 53. haunted & mental illness: 05. post traumatic stress

**Summary:** The first step is always the hardest to take.

**Notes:** Hello all! It's been such a long, long time, but hopefully the summer air will bring me back from my hiatus for good! Sudden inspiration for a rather depressing KakaSaku, but I hope you'll all enjoy it!

* * *

Never in her darkest dreams did Sakura expect this day to come.

How could this happen? He was her teacher, her rock, the one untouchable ideal of invincibility in her mind. There had even been certain times in the past when she was teetering precariously on the balance between life and death that she'd thought of him, and his unwavering strength. It was this thought that had given her enough strength to pull through and back to life.

But the man that now sat before her, staring blankly ahead was _not_ that man of her memories.

Sakura took three brisk steps into the room. He didn't acknowledge her presence. He didn't even seem to notice the change of personnel.

"Hello, Kakashi," she lilted, her voice oddly cheerful. "How are you feeling today?"

There was no response to her question, as she had expected. Sakura dropped down in the chair opposite him. She tilted her head slightly to the side to regard him. Though he was looking straight at her, she could tell by the blank look in his one exposed eye that he didn't register a thing. Or didn't care.

"I've brought you something, Kakashi." As she said this, she took something out of her pouch gingerly. It was a rather tattered copy of the copy-nin's infamous reading material. "Do you remember this one? I didn't actually burn it."

Sakura handed the book to the man, arms outstretched. His lone eye flickered to the orange object. It took him a few minutes to recognize the book, and in the meantime, Sakura's arm never wavered, not even a millimetre. Eventually, Kakashi reached out to take the literature into his own hands. The familiar feel of the felt cover and the weight of the book seemed to spark a slight recognition in him, but it was gone as soon as it came. Sakura squashed the disappointment that arose within her. This was progress. Slow as it was, it was progress.

"I didn't have the heart to burn it. It was so precious to you…" she trailed off, the fond memories of a happier time flowing into her mind. "But _god_, it was so irritating that you always, always read it no matter how inappropriate the occasion!"

No response.

"I remember how mad you were, even though you hid it well. But by then I knew both you and Naruto so well that it was impossible for either of you to hide anything from me, isn't that right?"

No response.

"Anyway, I thought you might be getting awfully bored in here, and a dose of nostalgia would do you good. I always meant to return it to you one day. Don't think I've forgotten all your nags about how this one is irreplaceable because it was a first edition."

No response.

"Alright, I've got to head off now. But enjoy the read, alright? I'll be back tomorrow."

No response.

Sakura fought hard to supress both the sigh that threatened to escape and grim expression her face wanted to settle into. Instead, she forced her features into a cheery smile that seemed reminiscent of Kakashi's old self. As she got up she gave her old sensei an affectionate pat on the head. Quickly, she turned away and in a few large, brisk steps she was out of the room.

She didn't miss the look of pity the guard flashed her as she left. Her hands clenched into fists of their own accord when she saw this. She knew what everyone here thought, she knew what everyone everywhere thought. It didn't matter.

She would never give up on Kakashi.

* * *

tbc

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_an: Next few updates will come quickly, promise! They're already mostly written, so this time it won't be an empty promise. Thoughts? Complaints? Loved it? Hated it? Have great critiques? Want to have my babies? Let me know with a few quick words! Your words and thoughts mean the world to me. Until next time! Hope you enjoyed the read!_


	2. Day Two

**Title:** day two  
**Word Count:** 728  
**Prompts:** 14. unguarded touch & 009. anything & 07. faith

**Summary:** Older and jaded, Sakura learns that patience and faith go hand in hand.

* * *

She remembered a time, vaguely, when she thought that all the world was hers to conquer. At age fifteen, the feeling of invincibility had reverberated from her very core, the feeling of infinite possibilities and an equally bright future. That Sakura was capable of anything. With her precious people, she, or rather, they could take on the world and come out on top.

Twenty-five year old Sakura smiled wistfully at the memory of her fifteen year old self. Innocence had its time and place, but inevitably, in their line of work, it would all melt away until nothing remained but the darkness that threatened to eat away at your very soul.

Sakura nodded to the guard standing motionlessly at the door. The masked ANBU didn't ask for ID anymore. Aside from the Hokage and a select few nurses, Sakura was the only one that ever came down there. In actuality, they were the only ones that had clearance, and really, aside from them, only a handful of people even knew the whereabouts of the man inside the suite.

"Sakura-sama," the young nurse within bowed slightly as Sakura entered the room.

Sakura offered a curt nod. "Where is Kakashi?"

"He is asleep. He woke up earlier today, and spent the morning reading the book you gave him yesterday."

"Reading?" Sakura couldn't help the tiny spark of hope that word illuminated.

"Well…" the nurse looked abashed. "He had it open, and he was looking at it…I'm not sure how much of it he actually read…"

Sakura's mouth formed a thin line. It was her fault that she had expected anything more than she knew she would find. "That's fine. Can you go grab lunch for us? Thanks."

The nurse complied, and with another bow she was off with her task. When Sakura felt the young nurse's chakra disappear out of the bounds of the area, she let out the tension she hadn't realized she'd been holding and relaxed. The spacious suite that Tsunade had allocated to Kakashi was comforting to Sakura in a way. The studio/apartment-esque room reminded Sakura of a mix of Kakashi's old bachelor studio and her own apartment before the war. Neither of those places existed now, demolished by the warfare.

As the nurse had said, Kakashi was dozing away soundlessly in the bedroom area, rigid as a tree even in his sleep. At least that much hadn't changed. When Sakura got nearer though, she realized with some anger that the young nurse hadn't exactly been forthcoming with her. Kakashi was too out of it to have fallen asleep of his own accord. They'd dosed him.

Sakura sat down on the plain wooden chair next to the bed.

Even though she didn't approve of them dosing him, she couldn't help but be happy that Kakashi finally looked like he was at peace. There was no sign of tension in his masked face, no evidence of the dangerous man he once was. He was just a man, taking a short snooze in the midday sun. Or, actually, what appeared to be the midday sun. Sakura had insisted on that. They'd originally kept him in a basement room, with an unwavering genjutsu on the windows to make it seem like it was above ground. Sakura believed that real sunshine, like time, was a cure that chakra couldn't mimic. After much complaint, Tsunade had finally relented and moved him to this suite.

Sakura reached out a hand and gingerly traced the outline of his face. Sakura had also insisted that they let him keep his mask. With the mystery of intrigue long gone, Sakura had insisted on returning him to as many of his old habits as possible. Even with the foreign expression of peace on his face, with his mask on, Kakashi seemed so familiar, so look his old self that Sakura's heart ached.

She wanted him back so badly. Sometimes she would get so frustrated that she physically wanted to pull him out of whatever hole he had retreated into. But it was impossible, irrational. Patience was king now. She'd done all that her skills allowed her to, and now it was just up to him, and time. Sakura leaned over to place a chaste kiss on his forehead.

They would take it one step at a time, one day at a time. She had faith in him.

* * *

tbc

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_Notes: Quick as promised! As quick as I can be, anyways. Hope you all enjoyed! Drop me a note! It'll make my day.__  
_


	3. Day Three

**Title:** day three  
**Word Count:** 500  
**Prompts:** 19. fragmented truths & 42. patience & unthemed 6: paranoia

**Summary: **Progress: On days like this, though, Sakura remembers the bitter price of something sweet.

* * *

Today was a bad day.

Sakura knew it as soon as she walked into the suite. Already, the chaos was apparent to the pink haired woman, as she watched the exasperated nurse and her belligerent patient.

"Kakashi. Stop."

At her voice, the belligerent ex-shinobi stopped struggling against the young nurse. Kakashi looked up to pierce her with his lone gaze. Sakura was unfazed by the angry and accusatory look it held.

"You're being unreasonable, Kakashi."

Kakashi looked away from her, and resumed his struggle against the frazzled nurse. Sakura strode over and grabbed his arm, her inhuman strength successfully subduing him. "You're _hurting_ her, Kakashi."

The young nurse shot Sakura a look of appreciation as she rubbed her sore arms. Sakura's touch seemed to awaken something in Kakashi, as he stilled immediately upon contact. "Why are you doing this today, Kakashi?"

"_I hate this_."

Sakura was so surprised by his voice that she nearly lost her grip on his arm. Immediately gathering her senses, Sakura stood alert and her expert gaze inspected him for any other signs of change. She relaxed when she discerned nothing more than the sudden lucid look in his eye. "Kakashi-" she breathed.

"_I hate this!"_ He repeated, and Sakura glimpsed in that moment the man he used to be. In those three words her Kakashi returned to her. Those words held all the determination and raw character she defined as Kakashi. "I hate this," he repeated again, this time softer and slower. His last utterance distressed Sakura; in it, she heard the telltale signs of defeat.

"No, Kakashi, no!" she all but yelled. "You're not allowed to give up. Come back to me, come back to me, _come back!"_

The Kakashi that stared back at her now was the one of two minutes ago and not two seconds ago. This Kakashi blinked back lazily at her, with none of the fight and determination that she'd witnessed just seconds ago. The young nurse looked with big eyes to Sakura, silently asking her for directions.

"Try to give him lunch, then leave him be."

The girl nodded furiously as she began her given task, leaving Sakura and Kakashi alone in the area. Kakashi sank down into the armchair and tilted his head away from her. Sakura moved towards him, casually brushing a wayward strand of hair from his face. It had blocked his only working eye, but Kakashi had done nothing to fix it. The fact that he flinched slightly under her touch was reassuring to Sakura, a feeling that, ironically, caused her to sadden again. The fact that she took pleasures in such mundane, every day things now when it came to Kakashi was at once heartening and saddening to the pink haired woman.

But in addition to having faith in Kakashi, Sakura also had patience. There was really nothing more important for her to worry about these days. And if today was any indication, her ministrations would eventually pay off.

Kakashi would return to her.

* * *

tbc

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_Notes: Reviews are always much, much appreciated! Thanks for the read!_


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